is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
