shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
