How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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