I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
