In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
