if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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