We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
