I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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