This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
