Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
