No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
