i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
