just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
