My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
