I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
