Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
