we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
