dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
