who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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