I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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