Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
