the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
