I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
