I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
