In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
