Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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