This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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