my room smells like sperm. sweet.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize