was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
