New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
