So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
