Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
