She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
