HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
