Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
