Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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