I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
