you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize