You're completely useless in the revolution.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
