would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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