The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
