i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
