the condom got lost in my hair
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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