The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
