does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
