What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
