READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
