I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Found the puke drawer
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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