seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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