I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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