So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
