Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
