will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
