I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
