matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Don't make out with my wife yet
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
