his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
