Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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