Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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