so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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