just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My boob is missing a layer of skin
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
