I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
