Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
