On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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