i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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